


Sunset Meadow

by C_St_Reed



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 17:03:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12869079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C_St_Reed/pseuds/C_St_Reed
Summary: Edward tries to convince Bella to reconsider wanting to be a Vampire.





	Sunset Meadow

**Author's Note:**

> Fore Warning.  
> This is utterly unedited. I posted it once but was embarrassed and took it down with the intention of editing it. Those edits haven't happened and will probably never happen (maybe someday). So enjoy an angsty grammatically error filled fan fic.
> 
> Originally posted October 9th, 2017.

I couldn’t be more content in my life if I tried. I was with Edward, in our meadow, cuddling in the sunlight. Even after being kidnapped by Alice for the weekend, I couldn’t be angry. Not when I was here, like this, with him. I leaned my chin on his chest, looking up at his gorgeous face. 

Edward looked like an angel, a greek god, even Hercules couldn’t compare to him, especially when he was in the sun. His eyes were closed, he looked just as content as I felt. As he softly sang to himself, his diamond skin acted like a disco-ball illuminating the entire meadow.

I sighed.

Edward glanced down at me.

I couldn’t help it. I looked away, looked away from his stunning golden eyes, and his perfect lips that I could just kiss forever. Looking at him always made me feel inadequate, he was perfect, he was forever going to be seventeen. 

“What’s wrong?” asked Edward, as he cupped my face ever so lightly with his chilled hand, making me look at him.

I bit my lip trying to think of what to say. I gazed into his shimmering eyes and spoke without thinking, “When I turn, I’ll be perfect and beautiful just like you.”

Edward let out a big sigh, and removed his hand from my face. I don’t know why I brought it up, I know his feelings about the matter. How he wants to save my soul. What was the point?

“Perfect,” Edward scoffed, “I’m a freak Bella.”

As much as I’d heard Edward express his distance before, I’d never heard him call himself a freak. He sat up, and slid me off his chest so I was sitting next to him. I stared at his face, he seemed pained. But not a pain of hungry, rather of emotion. His eyes glazed over, as he gazed past the tree line. The sun and the shadows almost made it look as if he were about to start crying - which being a vampire made impossible.

“You’re not a freak,” I said seriously, looking at him directly. “And when I get turned right after graduation we’ll be happy together, forever.”

Another wave of pain washed across his face. I reached and let the palm of my hand rest gently on his cheek as I stroked his temple with my thumb. Edward put his hand over mind and looked at me. I could see the near hundred years of torment bubble to the surface, they say the eyes are the windows to the soul. He definitely had soul, being a vampire didn’t take his away. There was something there hidden in the depths of the darkness of his pupils.

“Why,” he started off, “why are you so anxious to leave me?”

I was flabbergasted, his question caught me totally off guard, but I could tell by the look in his eyes he believed what he asked me.

“Ed-” I lost my train of thought when he took my hand from his cheek and lightly kissed the back of my hand. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” I finally managed to organize a coherent thought.

“Ah, but you are. You’re so determined to become what I am that you haven’t really thought about the effects.”

Excuse me was all I could think, did he really not believe that I had but thought into the effects? The fact that I would never be able to see Charlie, or Renee again; I had spent plenty of time weighing the choices. I was so angry, I wanted to yell. But I stopped when I looked at his face, and honestly thought I saw tears on his cheek.

“What do you mean?” I asked with fervor.

“My sweet, beautiful, Bella” he said pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, creating a barricade for his feelings. 

“You won’t want me after you’ve changed, when you’re a newborn,” he continued.

“I will always want you”

“No, you won’t,” his voice hitched. “For the first two or three years all that will matter is the thirst. You’re only thoughts will be about quenching your insatiable thirst, you’ll leave to hunt and never return. I’d follow of course, you could send me away, but I wouldn’t leave. I’d have to know you’re safe, you’d want to fight. Since newborns are stronger, I’d probably get hurt. Then who knows even after you’re no longer a newborn, you’d be a different person, you might decide you wouldn’t want me anymore, anyway.

“I’m not human, I know this Bella. I’m reminded constantly in the thoughts of people I pass on the street, I’m reminded when I have to work so damn hard when touching you to make sure I don’t hurt you. I’m reminded every time you call me beautiful. I’m not beautiful, the disease makes me appear beautiful to people,” he continued looking off into the distance.

Edward’s hands no longer wrapped around his legs but instead just his chest, his hands balled into fists. It reminded me of when he left, the hole I felt in my chest, how I physically felt the need to hold myself together to make sure I wasn’t going to come apart.

“I wish,” Edward said meeting my eyes, “I wish I could be human. So I could give you the life you actually deserve, marriage, kids, growing old together. But…” his voice broke. He had obviously given this a lot of thought.

Edward’s hand reached out, ht wiped away tears of shock that I didn’t realize has fallen while listening to him talk.

“Bella, why do you think I offered to be the one to change you conditionally,” he spoke softly as he tucked away a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “If I couldn’t convince you to wait longer to say, certain that you would. I felt it was the least I could do, by giving you the option of marrying me, I figured at least then I could ensure you got one last real normal experience before you left me. Before you changed. Then I would have a final perfect memory of you, standing beautiful at the altar with me, dressed in a beautiful dress, my bride to be. I hoped you’d take that offer, I want to be the one to change you.

“That way,” his voice broke again has he looked away, “at least then if you decided you didn’t want me anymore I could always be with you, my venom having turned you. Forever tying us no matter if you left or not.”

Another silent tear dripped down my face. Maybe I was crying due to the face Edward couldn’t even though he very clearly could be. His pain as he spoke was nearly tangible. I rose to my knees, pulled his face in my hands to look me in the eyes, and kissed him. He wrapped his arms delicately around me, and leaned back pulling me on top of him.

I leaned back really examining his face, I brushed away his non-existent tears, the look of longing never left his eyes. He was afraid I was going to just disappear, I leaned down and kissed the tip of his nose, and then his marble lips.

“Edward,” I murmured, “Thank you, for really explaining your opinion, and you’re reasoning. I’m not going anywhere right now.”

“Uh-” he tried to interject before being cut off.

“I don’t know how I will react when I turn. I like to imagine that even after the searing pain, I will be smart enough to stay with you. But until then, we have this moment, this second, to be with each other. I do know one thing Edward, is that I don’t want you to be human. I wouldn’t just wish you were something you aren’t. Sure, I mean it would have been nice to human together, but like you’ve said before we’re so breakable.”

Edward’s face was unreadable, stone unmoving, not sure where I was going.

“Sickness isn’t really something that can be fought with physical strength,” I sighed. “The idea though, of you turning me, of you permanently being tied to me is something I like. No, something I need, I won’t have it any other way.”

His eyes searched my face, still not knowing where I was going. But a slight smile started to turn up at the corners of his mouth. His crooked smile that drove me nuts, and made my heart beat faster. Which I’m sure he noticed. Just the smallest bit of his bright white teeth shone through his lips.

“I know I’m aging everyday, but since I can’t definitely say I’m going to stay with you after I turn, even though it’s what I want right now. I can wait.” Edward broke out into the biggest smile I’d ever seen come across his face. “I figure we finish up high school together in the coming weeks. Four years of college, together in the remote wilderness of Alaska. We return and have a big wedding.”

His eyes were filled with hope, part of me wondered if a large wedding was actually something Edward craved, something that he never had gotten to experience in his human life, or afterlife.

“That’s when it would happen, you and I disappear under the pretense that we’re getting our masters degree. By the time we’re done with that degree then I shouldn’t be a newborn anymore.”

Edward still seemed dazed by the fact I folded, that I was giving him four more years, even though I was so anxious to change. But to be honest. I was scared. I didn’t know what would happen, the only things I really knew about the change, aside from what Edward just told me, is what Alice once told me when we were fleeing James, that it’s painful. That if she hadn’t seen a vision of Jasper and Carlisle that she probably would have gone rouge. I shuttered at the thought. I loved Edward with all my heart, but I had to think about the possibility that after I changed I wouldn’t want him anymore. That wasn’t something I liked to think about, not even for my sake, but for his. I couldn’t imagine putting him through all of that.

At least if I waited just a little bit longer I could prolong Edwards happiness, until the possible gut wrenching situation where I would leave him. I leaned down and kissed him on the lips. 

He was still smiling, his bright teeth perfect. His bright teeth venomous. I leaned into him, my finger tracing his features. He seemed content just with the feeling of my finger trailing his face. I outlined his lips, he smiled back up at me.

“Can I touch your teeth?” I asked absentmindedly. He tensed under my touch, his smile faded away.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea…” he mumbled.

“Please,” I asked looking deep into his eyes.

“Bella, I’m venomous,” he said sternly.

“I know, I just thought,” my voice trailed, “Maybe it wouldn’t be so taboo if I got comfortable with them. If you were less hesitant.” 

Edward sighed. He seemed apprehensive, which I understood, he wanted to protect me. 

“One minute,” was all he said as he opened his mouth wide. Which hit me with a wave of his cold breath that always seemed to make me lightheaded.

I started by tracing his stone lips, then the front of his frigid front teeth. His teeth were somehow colder than the rest of his body, and slick with venom. I noticed he had a metal filling in the back of his mouth, obviously something left over from his human days I was surprised it was still there though.

“You have a filling.” I said pulling my finger out allowing him to talk.

“Yes, I suppose I recieved that in my human life. But that’s all I know, no memory of is has lasted. But it is one of the few things that reminds me of my past human self. That’s a minute.” Edward said declaring my prodding time over. I didn’t really mind it was over. I was mostly happy how much more I was learned today about the depths of Edward, physically and emotionally.

“I suppose we should be getting back anyways,” I said. Neither of us really realized how low in the sky the sun had reached. Edward’s skin was no longer sparkling, rather he was just glowing with the sunset. 

“I suppose we should,” he said standing up. He reached out his hand offering his support as I rose to my feet.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. He pulled me tight against him, lifting me off the ground. My fingers knotted into his hair, I focused heavily on trying to remember to breathe. But like always kissing Edward left me breathless. The kiss was over before I wished it was. 

“Bella,” he breathed, “ I love you.”

Edward had told me his love for me plenty of times but it didn’t matter every time was like the first time. I was always left blushing, and speechless. I pulled myself tighter against him, “I love you, too,” I choked out. Like I said speechless.


End file.
